Algebra
by Rashelle
Summary: Percy is facing the evil force known as math. Semi-crack. Oneshot. /Reposted after edit./


**All PJO rights go to Mr. Riordan~**

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><p><strong><em>Algebra<em>**

Oh gods, it _hurt._

Percy groaned as he felt his brain dissolving into mush. Of all the things to kill him, it just _had_ to be this...

The Savior of Olympus, bearer of the Achilles Curse, freakin' son of Poseidon, half _god_, and Percy Jackson was defeated by the fiend known as Algebra.

Paul had given Percy some simple algebra examples to help him with his educational studies (which were behind. By _a lot)_, knowing the demigod needed a break from his mythological life. Percy knew his stepfather meant well, but he might as well be in Tartarus for all the eternal suffering he was enduring now. Not that he believed in the concept, but _what the Hades happened to his Karma?_

Percy wearily blinked at the rather simplistic algebraic equation. His dyslexia kept him from reading the question straight, and had long decided that who ever came up with the type of math made it for the sole purpose of torturing him. He sighed as the numbers and symbols swam around the page. He longed to give up right then and there, but he had disappointed Paul with this kind of thing so many times before that he just needed to _do _it.

Percy squinted and the numbers came back into focus—mostly. The problem looked like:

_131 + 4 - 3 (2 + 2)_

Then the symbols switched around and continued to taunt him.

_42 - 122 (5 - 0) 3_

"GODS DAMN IT!"

Percy furiously swept the paper and pencil off the desk. It just _didn't make sense._

A curious girl - no older than 12 - poked her head into his cabin. Her eyes were a curious gray and her hair a light blonde. An Athena girl.

"Is something wrong...?" She said hesitantly.

Percy sighed and glanced at the menacing paper on the floor. _Di immortals, it's still taunting me,_ he thought as the symbols danced around, even though his eyes wouldn't be able to make the numbers out in the first place.

"No, I'm, ah, just a bit frustrated," Percy said eventually, slowly.

The girl nodded hesitantly before bending down to pick up the cursed math for him. She squinted to read it, and then something dawned in her eyes.

"This is algebra, isn't it?" she asked Percy, a bit too excited for his liking.

"Uh, yeah..."

Her eyes darted over the paper as she read the first problem aloud, "The absolute value of negative three plus four squared minus three squared?"

She gave Percy an incredulous look, as if she couldn't believe he couldn't figure out something that simple. Maybe for her, but not for Percy.

The girl sighed, seeing the look in his eyes. She directed her eyes back to the sheet.

...And then she solved the first problem, thinking aloud.

_"|-3| + [(4)^2 - (3)^2]_

"The absolute value of negative three is three; four squared is 16; three squared is 9.

_"3 + (16 - 9)_

"Sixteen minus nine is seven, plus three is ten.

_"Answer: 10_

"That's _it_? Come on, we're not even really _doing _anything!"

Oh gods, she was definitely related to Annabeth.

So the next hour and a half of Percy's life were spent on grueling Algebra with a sixth grader who could do it better than he could—today really wasn't Percy's day. Everything was denouncing him.

"_- 2 y + 3(4 - y) = 12 - 5 y_  
><em>"- 2 y + 12 - 3 y = 12 - 5 y<em>  
><em>"- 5 y + 12 = 12 - 5 y<em>

"OK, here you have something called 'Identity' where the answer is one and the two sides are the same. It's an 'infinite number'."

It went on and _on. _Percy was already legally dead, and still the girl kept going. She was like a _walking calculator._

Suddenly, the girl started jabbing him in the ribs (violently, he might add). "Hey! Are you even listening? If this is so boring, why don't we just graph quadratic equations or factor trinomials?"

Percy shot straight up. He had no idea what those were, but they sounded _scary._

When the girl _finally _finished helping him (*cough* doing his work for him) and left with a smile—Percy swore it was a smug smirk—she had said, "Call me when you get to geometry."

With one last sigh, Percy tossed the paper the girl had written her number down onto the table—why was she allowed a cell phone in the first place: they attract monsters—and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't even know the girl's _name_, for gods' sake.

With that final thought, he jumped up, ready to send the homework to Paul and forget all about that afternoon, only falling flat on his face once…okay, twice.

Now walking (i.e. a stumbling gait that was admittedly hilarious) towards the Big House, Percy's mood had considerably improved, though he couldn't say the same for his brain cells, which had been damaged beyond repair from information overload. Off in his own little delusional world, the demigod didn't notice the giant Hellhound bounding towards him. Mrs. O'Leary let out a ear splitting "WOOF!" and pounced on him. In the confusion, she seemed to have found great interest in eating the paper Percy was holding like a delicacy.

Eventually, after a lot of shouting and shoving, Percy managed to separate himself from the titanic canine, but couldn't seem find the (gods forbidden) algebra sheet anywhere. Then Mrs. O'Leary dropped something covered in dog drool on his head that was suspiciously in the shape of a paper...

Percy plucked the slobbered sheet from his head. He hurriedly scanned the legible words: 'A-G-RA'.

Percy blinked.

He blinked again.

He opened his mouth, unable to find words. Eventually, a single thought came to mind:

"Ah, shit."

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><p><strong>Heh heh... Ah, algebra... brings you back, doesn't it? ...Or bitterly reminds you of the stupid class you are being forced to take at the moment. <strong>

**If you're wondering, it _is _possible for a sixth grader to know algebra. When I was in seventh grade, we had the option of taking Algebra 1, and I just so happened to know a girl who skipped sixth grade and was taking said subject. And she didn't fail. **

**This was my first PJO story... oneshot... **

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><p><strong><em>Edited January 17, 2012.<em>**

**_Edited once again on 3-31-12._**

**_Fixed the stupid problem I failed to fix before. I think. Thanks if you mentioned that. (4-6-12)_**


End file.
